


Strange and Unusual, a Film created by Peter Quill on iMovie at 3 am

by lemoncellbros



Series: Trouble's Works [6]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Crack Fic, Ironstrange fam, Mary Poppins References, Multi, Sandlot references, Sherlock References, Star Trek References, Star Wars References, its bad ok, this is the biggest crack fic I’ve ever written
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 05:51:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14948784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemoncellbros/pseuds/lemoncellbros
Summary: Crack fic of Peter Quill’s iMovie decisions. Starring Peter Quill as Tony Stark, Peter Quill as Stephen Strange, Peter Quill as Peter Parker, Rocket Raccoon as Natasha Romanov, and Loki as Peter Quill.Written by Trouble





	1. Meet the Cast

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty self explanatory

This is a recorded iMovie of the play performed by the Guardiand and Company in Avengers Tower. The footage has been transcribed for your entertainment. The script was written by Peter Quill.

(lights up on a dark stage. Peter Quill steps into the spotlight, dressed in a red cape that’s barely hiding a ~~clearly stolen~~ iron suit. He clears his throat.)  
PQ: Space. The final frontier.  
PQ: I know about space because I am a star wizard with a green stone who likes to fly and has the voice of a dragon.  
(dramatic look at the camera)  
PQ: In case you haven’t guessed, I am Doctor Stephen Strange, the best version of Benedict Cumberbatch since Sherlock.  
(far off look)  
PQ:John...  
(coughs)  
PQ: WHATEVER  
PQ: The point is: Space is a cool place, and I’m about to show you how my husband, my son, and a trained assassin all got into the biggest pickle any of us had ever seen.  
(Rocket Raccoon walks onstage in a black suit with hair peeking through and his ears bent under a matted red wig. He speaks in a squeaky, overly high pitched version of his own scratchy voice.) RR: I’m Natasha Romanoff, trained assassin and former employee of SHIELD. And no, SHIELD isn’t Captain America’s shield.  
(awful attempt at a giggle)  
(The camera turns back to Peter, who is kicking the cloak under the curtain with his hands on his hips in a superhero position. He puts on some sunglasses undoubtedly taken from Avengers Tower.)  
PQ: Thanks, Romanoff. I’m Tony Stark, billionaire playboy philanthropist, as every tumblr gifset repeatedly says in black and white lighting, and I am the Iron Man. I’m also the husband of Doctor Stephen Strange, who you saw earlier,  
(he winks at the camera and tries to do a swaggering walk but ends up tripping over his feet)  
PQ: ...being a generally awesome dude.  
(the camera turns to Loki, who is dressed in Peter Quill’s attire and has his black hair peeking out from under a blonde wig. He’s blasting “Cherry Bomb” from a Walkman. He speaks in an awful American accent.)  
L: I am Peter Quill, leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy, saviour of millions, celebrity crush, dominant Chris, and sexiest man alive.  
(he does not look like he’s enjoying this.)  
L: And I just so happen to be the one who saved these poor souls who were stuck in space.  
(camera pans to Peter Quill, hastily shoving the Iron Man helmet backstage and now in a neon Spider Man suit. He hunches his shoulders and faces the camera in a scathing impression of an awkward teen.)  
PQ: A-and I’m Peter Parker, the weak Peter when compared to Starlord, hero of millions. I also have no taste in classic 80s movies and I only care about stupid stuff like Star Wars and Lego’s. I’m Doctor Stephen Strange and Tony Stark’s son.


	2. Scene 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The action begins!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk why

(blackout and the scene cuts to Groot holding up a cardboard box made to look like the Milano with Loki inside. Hooked on a Feeling plays as Loki makes spaceship noises and generally looks like an idiot. The other Guardians are represented by tiny paper dolls. Loki turns his head to speak.)  
L: So guys, where to?  
(Peter Quill pops up behind the cardboard Milano and changes his voice according to which doll he’s holding. He picks up the Drax doll and dramatically lowers his voice.)  
PQ: How about Tatooine?  
(Quill makes a tiny Rocket hit Drax.)  
PQ: Wrong franchise, idiot!  
(from offstage, a prerecorded voiceover says)  
VO: Oh no, we’ve somehow been launched into space!   
(Loki overdramatically gasps and almost falls out of the box as Groot turns it to where the voice was. He looks in horror at the paper Guardians. In a deadpan, he says,)   
L: Oh no, someone has been launched into space.  
(from behind the Milano, Quill loudly sings DUN DUN DUN)  
(Quill rushes offstage as Loki makes spaceship sounds and Groot makes it seem like they’re rushing to the end of the stage. Loki sings Mission Impossible while the sounds of Quill hastily changing into an Iron Man suit echo from backstage)  
(Quill runs onstage with a cloak badly hidden behind his back and dramatically lays out on the floor with Rocket, who is making general panic noises and saying things such as,)   
RR: “Whyyyyy”   
(And)  
RR: I did not sign up for this when I joined the Avengers!  
(Groot unceremoniously drops the cardboard Milano in front of Quill and Rocket. Loki screeches and his blonde wig falls off of his head, revealing a severe case of hat hair. He glares at Groot But continues to stay in character and hastily jams the wig back on his head...backwards. Rocket discreetly high fives Groot as he walks offstage. Quill is struggling to hold back laughter.)  
(Loki does a clearly choreographed dramatic hero pose and says, still in a terrible accent,)  
L: This is a job for the Guardians of the Galaxy!  
(Drax makes cheering noises offstage as a quick riff plays. Quill stares up at Loki in overexaggerated wonder.)  
PQ: Wow, you must be Peter Quill, better known as Starlord, the best hero in the universe and the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.   
(he turns the opposite direction and holds a cape over his shoulders)  
PQ: Hey!   
(he drops the cape and turns the other way, then says, clearly playing for the camera.)   
PQ: Besides you, dearest.  
(the camera turns to the audience to reveal the other Guardians sitcom laughing. Gamora’s face is deadpan.)  
(the camera turns back to Rocket, who looks extremely unhappy, but sighs and pops his left foot, fixing a dreamy expression on his face and making his voice even higher pitched than before.)  
RR: Peter Quill! Oh my deadly weapons!   
(a loud snort is heard offstage and Rocket flips them off as Loki bows and kisses Rocket’s paw, then spits out fur to the side.)  
L: And you the lovely Black Widow!  
(Loki stares seriously into the camera and puts his hands on his hips.)  
L: How did this happen?  
(The camera turns to Quill, who has put a Spider man mask on and is overdramatically shaking)  
PQ: I-I guess I accidentally launched us into space when I was foolishly playing around in D-Dad’s lab. Oh the tragedy of youth!   
(Loki pats him on the shoulder)  
L: Not to worry, youngster. The cure for your recklessness is simple: watch Footloose and learn how to conduct yourself in a way like Kevin Bacon-  
(the others join in, even the Guardians in the audience)   
EVERYONE:-the hero of mankind.


	3. Scene 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Starring Groot as Thor, Gamora as Valkyrie, Drax as Loki, and Mantis as Bruce Banner/the Hulk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for a huge, overly ambitious crossover! Sorry this one’s so short, but I can assure you the next will be verrrrry long, and verrrrry bad.

(blackout, then lights up on four people sitting in front of a shoddily made spaceship background. It looks like it could topple into them at any moment. Sitting in the front of the ship, behind the wheel, is Groot, dressed in Thor’s outfit and adjusting a long blonde wig on his head. He’s holding a hammer made out of a cardboard roll and gray paper.)  
(next to him is Gamora dressed in Valkyrie’s attire, though she’s traded her usual markings for Valkyrie’s. It’s pretty clear that the outfit was hand sewn by someone-most likely Drax-as the stitches are showing and it’s slightly too big. She looks uncomfortable.)  
(behind her is Drax, dressed in Loki’s green outfit, which, on closer inspection, just looks like body paint and a green skirt. His black wig is the only one that has fit anyone so far, as he is bald. Next to him is Mantis in Tony Stark’s clothes, but half of her is painted green, so she’s most likely Bruce Banner.)  
(Groot turns to Gamora.)   
GR: I am Groot.  
(Gamora nods along like he just said something extremely interesting and important. She says, in a cockney accent,)   
GA:Who could’ve possibly shown up on our radar?  
(Drax, in a truly excellent imitation of Loki, rolls his eyes and crosses his legs, then looks at them all like they’re idiots. The only thing that mars his performance is that he confuses a British accent with an Irish accent.)   
D:I don’t know. Figure it out.  
(Mantis, in a voice ridiculously deeper than her own, turns her her head to the side so that the green half is showing.)  
M: They’ll have to go through the Hulk!  
(she then proceeds to beat her chest like a gorilla. The camera pans to the audience, this time made up of the real Thor, Valkyrie, and Bruce Banner. Thor looks like he’s enjoying this, Valkyrie is sighing and downing a shot, and Bruce just looks like he’s in physical pain.)  
(Groot puts out a confused, “I am Groot,” and tosses his wig away from his face. It is now precariously balancing on the jagged edges of his head. Gamora leans over and looks at an imaginary radar. She looks like she doesn’t want to completely ruin Valkyrie. She’s trying her best, despite the cockney accent to rival Bert’s from “Mary Poppins”.)  
GA: Yeah, that looks like the infamous Milano of the Guardians of the Galaxy, a team of heroes even greater than the Avengers and known across the universe for their feats of bravery.  
(Drax rolls his eyes again and flicks his hand in a very Loki-esque fashion.)  
D: Please, anything is better than the Avengers. (both Groot and Mantis glare at him. Groot smirks.)   
GR: I am Groot.  
(Mantis turns her face to Banner’s side and says, in a voice higher than her own,)  
M: What’s Get Help?  
(the camera pans to the real Thor in the audience, who is now grinning widely. Bruce is still in pain. The camera zooms in on backstage, where Loki is quietly ranting and making threats at Quill, his blonde wig shifting every time he moves his head.)  
(the camera pans back to the fake Loki, who is now looking appropriately terrified and throws up his hands.)   
D: Please, not Get Help! It is my mortal enemy!  
(a loud bellow of laughter is heard from Thor, along with hissing insults from Loki. Groot turns back to the assumed radar and shrugs, looking very pleased with himself. His cape chooses that moment to fall off one shoulder.)  
(Mantis subtly fixes it.)  
GA: Let’s go meet ‘em, then, since they’re so great. Everyone in the universe wants their autographs, after all.  
(all of the Guardians onstage grin a little cheekily at this. Groot nods and pushes a stick on the ground, which is being held up by their feet.)   
GR: I am Groot!  
(Gamora sighs.)  
GA: To lightspeed!


	4. Pause for New Guests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We have a few surprise faces invited...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is in groupchat format

Alcoholicwarrior: someone help me I’m stuck in a performance of Strange and Unusual

CapUSA: what is Strange and Unusual

Alcoholicwarrior: Come to the performance and see

CapUSA: where is it

Alcoholicwarrior: Avengers theatre

Douchepool: I’m coming

Alcoholicwarrior: hell yes suffer with me

CapUSA: ...I’m good 

Whatarethosewakanda: I’ll have to think about it

Tree: I am Groot

Alcoholicwarrior: Groot you’re playing Thor

AndPEGGY: I’m just gonna lay in bed all day

Alcoholicwarrior: please I can’t do this alone

AndPEGGY: Fine... I’ll come but I won’t be happy

Douchepool: ILL BE HAPPY ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US

Starnuisance: it really is great guys

Starnuisance: I should know, I’m the lead

Douchepool: I believe in you

Starnuisance: my man

Tree: I am Groot

Starnuisance: your costume is fine it doesn’t need more glitter

Tree: I am Groot

Starnuisance: NO IT DOES NOT

Tree: I am Groot

Starnuisance: ugh fine

Tree: I am Groot

Starnuisance: I really hate you sometimes 

Whatarethosewakanda: you know what I’ve gotta see this

CapUSA: good lord


	5. Intermission/ Scene 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crossover tiiiiiiiiime  
> Plus, we have some new audience members!

(another blackout, then lights up on Peter Quill in his normal attire)  
PQ: We now pause the show to welcome new guests! Please, take a seat and enjoy. And Wade, (he fingerguns at the audience)  
PQ: Thanks for coming, bro.  
(Camera pans to the audience. Wade just starts cheering and Peggy glares at him)   
PQ: Yeah, that’s the spirit! The next scene will be starting soon, as soon as we finish making a few last minute adjustments.  
(He throws a pointed glare at Groot, who is backstage rolling his cape in glitter.)  
(The camera pans back to the audience, where Steve sits down next to Peggy, warily.)   
ST: why did i agree to watch this mess?  
P: I was dragged here by this idiot.  
(She points at Wade)  
(Valkyrie turns to them and grins.)  
VA: Suffer with me. The next scene is starting soon.  
(Peggy groans.)  
(they all die inside as the blackout starts. From the alleys of the theatre, the Guardians dressed as the Revengers come running onstage, where Loki is introducing Quill and Rocket to the paper doll guardians. When they reach the stage, Loki menacingly holds up a stick.)  
L: Don’t come closer! I have the power of god, anime, and Queen on my side!  
(The camera pans back to the audience, where Peggy has her head in her hands.)  
P: oh no. This can’t be happening.  
(The camera pans back to the stage. Groot steps forward, twirling his cardboard and paper hammer in a circle, which only causes the paper to fly off and hit Rocket in the face.)  
(Quill desperately tries to regain control by putting his cloak on his shoulders and making portal motions with his hands.)  
PQ: Why are you here, mysterious hammer man?  
(Quill then shoves the Iron Man helmet on his face and kicks away the cloak.)  
PQ: Stephen, that’s Thor, my Avengers friend!  
(the real Thor cheers from the audience while Quill puts the cloak back on and acts shocked.) PQ: Really?   
(He threw off the cloak, straight onto Rocket)  
PQ: Yes, really. Thor, please introduce us to your friends.  
GR: I am Groot.  
(Quill steps forward and shakes Gamora’s hand.) PQ: Nice to meet you, I’m Tony Stark. Valkyrie is a very cool name.  
(Gamora is struggling to keep a straight face, as behind Quill, Rocket has thrown the cloak off his head but also his red wig in the process, and is now desperately trying to get it back on his head while attempting to stay in character.)  
(Mantis turns her entire body to the green side and crabwalks over to Quill, her voice cracking a little)  
M: And I am the Hulk! Raa raa!  
(she says this with her best attempt at a warrior face. Drax steps forward, pretending to examine his nails while adjusting his skirt.)  
D: I would introduce myself, but I’m fairly sure you know who I am already, Stark.  
(Quill makes a sour face and turns to the real Loki)   
PQ: Quill, how did these guys get onto your ship?  
(Loki shrugs and turns to the paper doll version of Rocket.)   
L: Yeah, Rocket, how did they get on our ship?  
(he lowers his voice and makes it scratchier as he holds the tiny Rocket.)   
L:Advanced Asgardian tech, Quill. Ain’t my fault we’ve got a hunk of junk instead of that.   
(Loki rolls his eyes and turns back to the group.) L: Well, you seem okay. But what are a bunch of Asgardians doing away from Asgard?  
(Groot does a heroic pose as Gamora takes a swig out of a cardboard bottle.)  
GR: I am Groot.  
(Loki nods like he understands.)  
L: Trying to find a way to take down that whiny little emo brat, Kylo Ren. I gotchu, I gotchu.  
(he looks extremely pained to be saying “gotchu”. Mantis turns to the unpainted side of her and crosses her arms. She tries to talk to the group, despite the fact she’s facing away from them.)   
M: He’s got worse anger problems than me, and that’s saying something.  
(she turns to her green half and lowers her voice.)  
M: Yeah.  
(pan to an extremely confused Peter Parker in the back row)   
PP: What the fu-  
(Quill glares at him and practically screams to keep him from talking)  
PQ: Well, Thor, I think I speak for all of us-  
(subtly flips off the back row)  
PQ: -except maybe my very weak son over here when I say we would be glad to help you defeat Kylo Ren.  
(Quill shoves the Spider-Man mask on his face)  
PQ: W-well, I guess I’ll come. But only if I can watch the ship and not do any heroic stuff because I still have yet to learn heroism from Kevin Bacon.  
(pan to a furious Peter Parker next to a giggling Shuri)  
(Gamora pats Quill on the back, then turns to Rocket.)  
GA: He has the Force, though, and we don’t have any telekinetic people to match his powers.  
(Quill throws on his cloak and makes an offended noise that sounds like a shriek)  
PQ: Uh, excuse you, I’m right here.  
(Rocket turns to him and flicks his red wig.) RR: Yeah, but we’re gonna need someone more powerful to defeat a Sith. Lucky for you guys, I know just the person.


	6. Scene 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade Wilson joins the cast!
> 
> Credit for Wade goes to: helloangrydestiny.tumblr.com
> 
> Credit for Steve Rogers goes to:   
> flyawaymusic.tumblr.com

Starnuisance: Grab a brown wig and a red jacket and meet me backstage

Douchepool: On way

Starnuisance: excellent

***

(lights up on Wade in a choppy brown wig and red jacket, standing in the middle of the stage with a cutout of Vision.)  
WW: Oh Vision! How much I love you! More than your Android body could ever know!  
(the others walk on stage and Wade looks at them with confusion)  
WW: What are you guys doing here?  
(Rocket steps forward and gives him a fist bump)  
RR: We need your help, GURL.  
WW: Oh whatever for?   
(mutters to Rocket how sorry he is that he has to do this)  
(Rocket gives him a look of desperation and does a tragic pose)  
RR: We must defeat Kylo Ren, and you are the only superhero in the galaxy who is powerful enough to match his Force.  
WW: I shall go with you on this quest. “  
(to the Vision cut out)   
WW: I must go, my love.  
(Quill rushes behind the cutout and tilts it forward to make it seem like he’s giving him a kiss, then speaks in a Siri voice)  
PQ: I understand, dearest.  
WW: We must go to save the world if we must.  
(at the audience)  
WW: Now we are off to defeat the infamous Kylo Ren.  
EVERYONE: (a la Potter Puppet Pals) Yayyyy, defeating Siths.  
(they exit and the lights dim, then lights go up on the full gang sitting behind a huge Milano cutout, clearly being held up by Quill and Gamora.)  
(Mantis turns to her non painted side)  
M: So, how do we know which Imperial ship he’s in?  
(Loki pretends to flick a few buttons.)  
L: The on he’s in will have theme music playing over it.  
(Everyone nods in agreement.)  
GR: I am Groot.  
(Gamora nods and taps Loki on the shoulder.)   
GA: Thor is right. We need a plan. Any ideas?  
(Quill nods and puts his Iron Man helmet on, the helmet bobbing around a bit as he speaks.) PQ:We’ve all got to go in where the Storm troopers on. They don’t have the Force, so we can easily defeat them and steal their suits. Then we can sneak into wherever the eff he’s hiding and Wanda and Strange can beat the shit out of him.  
(He turns to Wade.)  
PQ: Sound good?  
WW: Of course, Tony.  
(Quill does the “Hang Ten” hand symbol.)   
PQ: Lit.  
(Wade overexaggeratedly facepalms.)  
(Loki tilts an imaginary steering wheel.)  
L: Alright everyone, get ready. We’re entering the belly of the beast.  
(Gamora takes a shot out of a water bottle cap, Drax elegantly combs his wig, Mantis turns to her green side and roars, Groot shakes his cardboard roll at the sky, Rocket unleashes some giant tasers out of nowhere, and Quill starts playing “The Final Countdown.”)  
(Loki takes a deep breath and pretends to steer the ship into the Imperial dock as the lights dim.)


End file.
